The Waiting Game

Argh, i felt so depressed!

Nak tau pasal ape?Pasal baby tak keluar lagi..I bet mommies out there know how'd i feel currently

Dahla twice false alarm for labor, end up till now, I'm 40 weeks by this Tuesday, baby still haven't give any signs yet to pop. Instead, every night i've been facing with difficulties to sleep. Sleeping pattern has turned into haywire.

kekadang tu subuh baru dapat tido lena, before that, baby tah buat ape dalam perut that really made me uncomfortable. Sometimes i was hoping and waiting for the contractions to come but avail. Not to forget the heartburn, the backache and the visiting toilet.

At this time, i've had almost 3 or more of my friends that their EDD was supposedly later than me later by 1-3 weeks, are having their baby already. Please tell me how am i supposed to feel when i looked at their pics in the FB?that they enjoying their new arrival of baby in their arms and NOT ME? i'm still stucked here, with my baby inside. I am so envy u with all the new mommy outhere !!!

At times, i felt like giving up and crying, i had this hopeless and useless feeling for not getting my baby out but i know that it's just part of the waiting game and only a minor challenged thus i have to be strong for my baby. I can't be feeling like this which there'll be huge and more challenging once the baby is out. I'd cried at nite too, just to make myself relieved. Wondering when is the baby is coming out, over and over again.sigh

Now the baby position is really dropping where everyone can noticed but still no signs of labor yet. Sometimes i just felt that i'll choose to be delivered at the private hosp which you can opt to be induced when you're already dilating at 2cm instead of waiting till the 41 weeks, like how the govt practiced. It's  really a mentally tortured tau. I'd try to keep myself calm by  isolating myself in the room, since my backache is killing me and the baby's dropping position is avoiding me to walk more i had this feeling that the baby's head is dropping and might fall out of my VG anytimes, so i'd prefer to just lay down on the bed while reading my books or doing other stuffs la.

If korang tanye aku, ape lagi yang aku  idam2kan in terms of food and stuffs, basically I'VE HAD EVERYTHING. I should be thankful for having a such wonderful and accommodating husband that fulfill all my wishes. Thank you sayang for being there for me, at all times

Some ppl been giving good advised and i thanked for that. I know this is all Kerja Allah so there's nothing much i can do beside waiting and just pray that me and the baby will be fine and i will have a smooth delivery.

BABY, When are you coming out????

Bitchy secretary?

All this while i'd think that i'm one of the above, considering that most (75%) from the staff doesn't like me

Well, i assumed from the way they berlakon depan me and the stories i've heard all this while

But after a few conversation with certain ppl, i'd think that i am actually doing the right job and at the right track

Recently had a chat with my husband's aunty who is a Pengarah at one of the Govt college at Banting. It's a SHE. 

She's been complaining that her secretary, that was aged about 23-25, just married was so- soft -type of person. And she is so depending on the boss. In fact almost everything. And when a visitor wanna meet the boss, she would be nicely accepted all that regardless the boss is having a tight schedule. She barely say NO to everyone, which end up she'll be doing other ppl's job and not have sufficient time to finish the boss's task

Again, this aunty commented that she had advised her secretary to be more firm and strict. More over, the secretary should be helping the boss on everything, whether to cover her up from meeting some anonymous strangers. True!

Additional remarks added by my MIL that a secretary is a person that EVERYONE should be scared off, in the office. And any hanky panky stuffs should be stopped by the secretary before the boss finds out. True, again.

A secretary also plays an important role to take care of the office and as an advisor to the boss and are the most powerful staff among the rest. True, true!!

Again, it made me ponder that i've done the right thing all this while when recently, boss was kinda expressing his feeling that for the past 2 weeks i was absent, he needs to look after everything on his own. Ignore the facts that my replacement lady was there, she's new and doesn't knew much. He's facing much troubles dealing with the staffs. Ignore the facts that he's having 2 GM's in the office that WAS supposed to help him too. Pity him

Then, i came out with a remarks that

me :well, actually my presence in the office is really important tho. Beside me being kepochi and bitchy, it's actually the right thing i've done all this while

 Boss : Oh yes, absolutely. Now u knew that you're my right hand ? 

So, it IS RIGHT to be bitchy and to be the most hatred person in the organization, which indirectly telling that that secretary has done a great job to the boss. Well, that's why there's a day to appreciate and celebrate that tittle every year, aite?

So i should be feeling alright and proud of myself !!

Movie review

NO. Still not in labor yet

so another acara berjalan

to the TGV we are..2 movies to watch

Thurs- Predators

a horrible-ugly creatures yet brilliant in the Predators

 I have no interest in watching this but since Hubby is buying, so just hentamla tengok. Menghabiskan masa yang terluang. My review :-

besides those predators are quite brilliant in using their modern weapons and all, the story line was a bit boring. Not really much action but okla..rating 3 out of 5

Friday- Eclipse

Choose people, choose!

The movie that every single ladies out there been waiting and dying for, finally here

Tengok kat Wangsa Walk Mall (WWM) are peacefully, less hassle on queuing and everything. 

I don't fancy Jacob or Edward or even the movie it self but i've watched those since the first movie was out.

Sorry girls, for me the Eclipse this time was so melancholic. Lots of corny scenes. I want to see more actions or conflict between them other than Bella is forced to chose between the vampire and the wolf

Eh macam HOT sangatla si Bella ni sampai both bodylicious handsome guys are after her. And yet, boleh having a second thought pulak...EE geram plak aku tengok si Bella ni

But some of the scenes memberi bahan lawak untuk di-gelakkan which acceptable la. Lawak dalam cerita vampire VS wolf..hehe. At the end Bella has decided on something that is sure for her

But, rest assured that i'm not in the team of Jacob nor Edward. I'm just plain lazy on deciding at this moment :)

Rating for this 4 out of 5

On the other part, i wanna raised some issue yang selalu terjadi bila tengok movie. 

Orang belakang tendang/duk goyang-goyang kaki kat our back seat. Where's the manners of Malaysian ppl?

Dahla buat prangai kambing tu satu hal, and yet when we tegur, berlagak bagus taknak say sorry plak tu

both of my days watching kat WWM ni both pun cina mangkuk hayun yang buat..

Do they have a problem on just sit there quietly without ruining other ppl's mood. Haish, kacau betul.

Aku tatau diorang nak seat besar mana lagi yang bleh they sit comfortly without doing such things. Hangin tau!

Wassup me?

Ok this is seriously f**ked up. I mean MAXIS. Dah 3 hari broadband ni was having slow connectionDemmit. Loading Gmail pun bertahun have to wait..basically can't do anything. ANYTHING!!

and now?I'm using my brother in-law's maxis just in case his was better than mine.

Well, it is..if tak blog ni pun takleh update if i were using mine..Reason from maxis notification?

I HAVE REACHED THE MAXIMUM CAPACITY..bangang la wei!! I paid for everything ok..on time lagi

OK, enuff of cursing the maxis..next story

Well, I AM NOT in labor yet. I am still healthy as i can be. 38 weeks now and beside twice false alarm, still no signs yet. Yes, penantian suatu penyeksaan. Aku harus terus bersabar..that's all i can do now.

FYI, i have started my leave already. Not maternity yet but just using the hospitalization, MC's and unpaid leave. Not gonna touch the AL yang balance tinggal 8days je, save it for my raya tho

So, I'm on one week UPL this week and i know i'm bored but i just can't stand and imagined to climb that 4 staircase to my office everyday PLUS sharing my workplace with the replacement lady who likes to stay with me all the time and even shared or stared at all the things in my pc, eventho i'm online or reading my friends blog. She can even kindly give her comments, without asking . How about that?

So i did spend my days by visiting some of the shops that are having sale kat KLCC like M&S, MNG, Isetan or honestly, i walked and tawaf the whole KLCC like there's no other days for me to be there. And here's the damaged I've done

Then next day, went to Ikea. Was heaven to be there on the weekdays coz less people. It's heaven!! coz finally i can visit all the showroom and really take my attention at every single deco they've done. Trust me, you won't get this kinda chance if it's on weekend. And eating the meatballs are just plain easy that day. No long que, lot's of empty seats and we are eating peacefully *wide smiling*

Everyday, i've been wondering on when exactly is my baby is coming out? coz we've done all the preparation. We are just waiting for you to arrives. Trust me, from the nervous feeling, it turned out into I've almost give up on hoping and counting on when is the BIG day for the baby. Serious! 

But this is gonna be my first so i shouldn't to feel that, eventho i've dilated 2cm with NO progress at all in 1-2 weeks time. It's a disappointment but i have to be strong, for the sake of my baby!

So dengan harapan baby akan keluar cepat, i've walked a lot and eat as much as i can so i won't have that kempunan feeling when berpantang mode started.

Marilah kita sama-sama berdoa so my delivery will be smooth and both of us are fine and healthy. Amin

PS : Thank you very much to those mommies out there who'd always support and giving me advises..Appreciated that girls :)

Rojak

another boring sunday.

Ape aku nak tulis? dah 2 kali type and erased. Did my life that boring?

Nak keluar tapi takde kawan yang sudi meneman and takde kereta. Being left alone and behind as always lately ni is something yang normal for me. Since kahwin rasa life been so pathetic. I have so many friends do i?haha but still undecided nak kuar with who. Reminder to myself that i am holding the title as WIfe Orang, so tak boleh suka hati keluar with other jantan beside permission granted from the Hubby

Husband on Sunday?Kerjala..pe lagi. He's on shift hour except for the midnite, so what else could i say more?

Bosan?Yes i did but watodo..accept jela..Cari rezeki kan. So korang yang husband keje office hour is so-so lucky, so don't complaint much

Korang rasa hangin tak if keje yang korang buat everyday without fail, sincerely but still kene tegur?

ie : cuci pinggan ke

The best thing is, husband korang yg sound u about it

C'monla cuci pinggan is something basic and common that everyone did, incl me

Of coz, adelah certain ppl in the house will take advantage for not cuci the pinggan yang dah melonggok kat sink and rather just stare at it and ignore. best part, some ppl wash their own dishes je..bagus tak?

and just because i've missed to cuci the pinggan for 1 or 2 times which that time husband ada terus aku kene sound..How do you feel?

I'm stubborn. Checked. And i will argue over something yang i didn't do and don't deserved. Checked

yes, i am a fighter..haha

Why can't hubby tegur orang lain dalam umah tu yang lagi pemalas than me?Yang cuci their own dishes and ignore the rest?Why? give me an explanation then i will shut up

This is the fact hidup menumpang di umah orang..hati orang lain kene jaga, hati sendiri..sendiri jagala

Sakit hati? Yes la. Beside menjadi wanita yang mengandung ni, hormon memang terlalu sensitif. Weh aku nak beranak anytimela..i don't need to cry over something stupid, but i just can't help myself. sigh

Can't u just pamper me while you can?

Warded for false alarm

oh i am so glad to be home. In fact i've been resting for the past 3 days since discharged Tuesday ago. itu pun bodek doc to give me the 3days MC

and yes, i've decided to share my experienced being warded at Hospital Selayang for another false alarm again created by my dear baby Petit

WARNING : cerita dibawah could be define as scary and some of the info could be only apply to those are MARRIED sahaja ya

Sunday - 27 June

a sleepless night. my tummy is not comfortable and i kept on feeling this mild period pain at my lower abdomen. At 5am, i managed to get a 2 hrs sleep which later i thought i need to go to the hospital for check up the next day

Monday- 28 June

Went to the Hospital Selayang, dewan bersalin after informing my Gynae about my prob. Waited for almost 2 hour due to he had an emergency at the OT room. There i was looking at some other mommies that were having a contractions due to labor or some minor prob, like me. There's so much challenging i can feel by just looking at them facing all that. Scary thou

Then it's my turn. CTG were done and here is my Gynae, Dr Irish who'd still in his ER outfit, checking me.

And then, the worse part, out of sudden. He's checking my cervix. How he'd do that?

By first, inserting his middle finger into my VG. Bukan takat masuk je dok godek plak kat dalam tu. OK, not satisfied with ONE finger, now comes TWO finger. Again, masuk ke dalam dan godek lagi tah hape kat dlm tu and suddenly he said, "You're about 1-2cm dilated"

My face?u should have look at myface yang sedang menahan kesakitan dari ke-selukan his TWO fingers into my VG. It's not the pleasure feeling that you're hubby did OK while u're on bed, it's way pain beyond that. as i haven't experiencing the pain of labor yet so i assumed this cervix exam is absolutely sakitla. And for the new mommy out there, FYI there will be a bleeding after the cervix exam done. It's normal and just bear with the pain a while ya

By hearing Doc said that i need to be admitted as i'm dilating 1-2cm now, i panicked. of cozla. Due date aku 21 July but it's just JUNE..and my baby are ready to coming out? Hubby was panicked than me. Blur! as if can't think what's next on to-do list he should do. I have to explain the process to him la..Grggrrr

So aku admitted la jawabnye. Took 4 bedded ward. I gave hubby a short list on what any other stuffs i  need then he's off.

Waktu malam menjelma

Ok so all the 4 bedded taken. 2 patients front of me was having their newborn baby. Next to me sedang mempertaruhkan nyawanya melawan contraction. Her dilation quite slowla, dari ptg tadi 3 cm dilate till now dah mlm pun still 3cm gak.

Must say that i had a good sleep tho. Haha. Yelah, i don't have any signs of labor yet ie : contractions, waterbeg pecah, bleeding or etc.. I am consider normal. Dat's why boleh tido lagi. Just that duk spital memang tak comfortable la. with Petit inside yang sometimes mengeras ke kiri kanan, it's not helping ok

So to the kill the time, i've read books, baca Yasin and eat la. But i did some observation beside than chatting with one of the Kakak yang gone thru C-sec due to her daughter was big, 3.7kg

From my observation, admitted kat spital Selayang ni Or maybe applies to other govt hosp that :


-pls bring your own baby diapers. Hosp only provide the first time your baby was born and that's it
-No matter whether you deliver normal or C-sec, they will leave your baby with you at nite. Reason ; so you can have a bonding time with your baby + breast feed your baby (BF) galakan dari kerajaan to BF your baby till 6 mths- habisla takde rehat once we ber-penat lelah melahirkan anak. dang!
-Shower time for baby- Ok yang ni we can get ready all the baby stuffs then handed over to the nurses, they will shower your kids for you and return :)
-You have to wear their ugly-faded maternity blouse no matter how huge is that compared to your size.For more comfortable, bring your own kain batik
-and bring extra pillows for your comfortness
-i bet everyone's think that the hosp gonna be a cold like the A/C macam baru kene service, BUT it's not. it can be warm and jgn terkejut some of the patient bring their own fan..haha

Tuesday- 29 June

As early as 7am, everyone's was wide awake.

It's time for another cervix exam to be done. This time about 8-9am plus kot, done by Dr.Elyana and surrounded with the rest of the doc and nurses in-charge. Another TWO fingers again inside my VG. She said the cervix is still open at 2cm

Convinced her that no signs of any labor yet, so finally they decided that I Can Discharge today.

That was the best moment i've been waiting for. I've been wishing for that, just let me go home and rest and i will return once my signs is a real and pain one , i told myself and the Doc

Knowing how the govt hosp works, it takes time on EVERYTHING. maybe except if aku really nak terberanak kot then they do panic. What time do i discharged? Almost 3PM. Almost a day and plus, they still haven't charge me for anything yet. Please be reminded that i have paid a deposit for the hospitalization of RM350 in case i deliver that day. But I'm NOT. So refund la my money.

Delicately i told hubby that we come again during the next check-up in case i don't pop out yet, and claim the  refund. It has to be done BEFORE i am admitted again for the real labor




Well then, here u goes my story. 
Now, i am more aware and alert on when i should rush to the hospital:


-if my water bag break, within 24 hours is the max time

-if i face any bleeding 

-if my contractions were not that far apart, maybe within 5-10 mins . As it getting nearer and stronger, should have rush to the hosp

 I 've discharged with still 2cm dilation, i am getting the bleeding spotting which is normal if your cervix has opened up. Just be alert on any other signs of labor

Dear baby Petit, Mommy wishes that you'll give me a really BIG signs if you're coming out.